Why Grandma Never Kissed on the First Date
It seems as though the reign of pucker-up-then-give-him-the-cheek is over. In the most recent Think Tank poll, a whopping 86 percent of respondents supported kissing on the first date. This is the dawn...
View ArticleMaking out with Ben
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 1, Winter Season (CHAPTER 3: THE AGONY OF ECSTASY) Ben and I are lounging on opposite sides of the couch. The Christmas lights have been turned off and the music...
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Stumbling towards the bedroom.
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 1, Winter Season (CHAPTER 6: VALENTINE’S DAY MARTYRDOM) Mr. Smyth and I walk inside. I toss the bouquet onto my coffee table. We look at each other in silence for...
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Kissing the Shampoo Boy
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 1, Winter Season (CHAPTER 7: FRIDAY NIGHT CUTS) It’s Friday night, and all over Los Angeles people are getting ready to go out: some, on a hot date; some, to a hot...
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Nostaligia. No, just heartbreaking history.
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 1, Winter Season (CHAPTER 9: ACCIDENTAL) Still in traffic and not even two-thirds of the way home, I start looking around my car for something to keep me occupied:...
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Hot lovin’ in an elevator…almost.
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 1, Spring Season (CHAPTER 10: LOVE IN AN ELEVATOR) I turn to face The Ex, searching his face for the truth. Does he still love me too? Does he want to get back...
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Kissing my gay neighbor. Again.
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 2, Spring Season (CHAPTER 12: POST-EJACULATORY REMORSE) I’m sitting next to Clark at the Pink Bear, getting drunk. “It’s my face isn’t it?” I slap my hand down on...
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Cock Metal.
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 2, Spring Season (CHAPTER 13: ORAL FIXATION) I have just enough time to set my glass down next to the couch before he reaches for my hands and pulls me onto him....
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His mouth is hard, and he’s an awkward kisser, but…
Photo: Corbis From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 2, Spring Season (CHAPTER 17: THE BUSINESS OF PLEASURE) He stops typing and looks at me pensively. “Hannah, where do you see yourself five years from...
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Kissing in public.
From Sex, Life, & Hannah::Volume 2, Spring Season (CHAPTER 18: KNIGHT IN DARK ARMOR) I’m leaning over the bar, finishing up a cigarette and flirting with the bartender who has been pouring me...
View ArticleAn email that made my heart flutter.
Dear Hannah, You are probably in NYC by now...I am just about to leave for my first week of the new production in Hollywood. I'm using the free high-speed at Panera Bread. Ever been to Panera? It's...
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No Strings or Guilt Attached.
The night before I left for Vegas I watched Up in the Air, where the climax of the movie is centered around this unattached, unemotional man realizing he’s fallen in love with a women he wants to make...
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Men I’d Like to Fuck Part 3.
Last night I had a dream involving David Duchovny. I was laying on a big white circular bed in a big white room and he walked in; stopped when the crotch of his pants was at the top of my head, and...
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RULES! Part 19.
117. Do not fly Spirit Airlines. They suck, and will fuck you out of your flight without even a hint of remorse in their eyes. Jet Blue is way better. 118. Do not pop four Extra Strength...
View ArticleChapter 24: Losing Your Virginity
This morning, I decide to indulge in a guilty pleasure. I walk into the small convenience store on the first floor of our office building and buy a coffee, a donut, and a People magazine. Nothing like...
View ArticleI had sex with Metal Guy.
On our fourth date, we had sex. He drove into town, and I picked him up at his parent's house. We took a drive down the coast and stopped in for a drink and a snack at some restaurant where we shared a...
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